Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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