sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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