was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
