shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
