Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just high enough for therapy.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize