I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
