took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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