she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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