bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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