we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
