So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
