kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
