I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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