Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
