I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
