Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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