what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
apparently the secret to your success is patron
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
