I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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