Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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