i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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