Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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