go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
