Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
