i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
