fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
