Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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