i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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