I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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