I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
