i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
