Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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