My girlfriend figured out who you are.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
organizing the empties. That sober.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
