Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
