Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
