1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
