the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I want a musical about memes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
