I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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