Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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