I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
