So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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