i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
