then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
