I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
