Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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