Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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