he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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