idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hippo gnu deer
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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