I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well you can't waste a boner
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
