It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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