I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
