And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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