me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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