So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
