Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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