I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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