Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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