This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The adults are the big ones right?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
