Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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