Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
