im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
try to milk me bitch
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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