The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
