I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
