So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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