ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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