at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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