Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize