why im i the only drunk person in the library?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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