thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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