I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
