theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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