i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
